#d's dumbass rants

[dorkycreature-89]

i'm gonna let it go. i'm gonna let it go. i'm gonna let- NOPE

it's rich. it is fucking RICH that lily orchard of all people would like hazbin hotel. even though she tried to come after steven universe for "redeeming" the diamonds (and tried to paint the show as fascist apologia), she's thinks a show about LITERALLY REDEEMING SINNERS is neat

wow. that's not hypocritical at all, lilz. i guess it gets a pass cuz lesbian couple :/

oh, and her trying to compare herself to angel dust? while she's also comparing her sibling to valentino? no, not on my watch

am i gatekeeping? yes, absolutely. i'm a spiteful bitch that rejects her review

we do not accept

-a hazbin fan that's running on a cup of tea

[ostriches-because-i-said-so]

So, Audrey and Aubrey... What dumbass parent switched up their d's and b's and created a new name??? More importantly which name came first! This is like the, "Which came first the ostrich or the egg?" but with names!!!

[silversaucekai]

I have no appetite, I can’t sleep, I feel irritable, I’m clumsy and a bit confused, my chest hurts, I’m sweaty, I’m emotional, my joints hurt and feel sore, my body feels weak, but I guess it was allll worth it if you could come into work sick for a few days huh?

[placeinthisworld]

someone tell me to stop being a little bitch!!

[natsbaby]

Ms kahvel from im standing on a million lives will forever have my heart and soul

[adverbally]

And If I Should Falter, Would You Open Your Arms Out to Me?

Written for the @steddieangstyaugust prompt “‘I thought we agreed it was over.’” | wc: 633 | rated: T | cw: n/a | tags: previous friends with benefits relationship, mutual pining (but mostly Steve), happy ending | title from “A Little Respect” by Erasure

———

Steve hasn’t heard from Eddie in three weeks.

It’s not that surprising. After Steve had called off their arrangement, Eddie didn't have another reason to stop by. What did they have in common beyond Upside Down shenanigans? Why would Eddie come over if he wasn’t ferrying the kids to Steve’s house for D&D or another Party gathering?

He keeps reminding himself of that. They hadn’t fought about it because there had been nothing to fight for. Whatever was between them was just physical. There was no way Eddie had fallen for him the way he had fallen for Eddie.

It doesn’t make it sting any less.

Steve still watches from a distance. Waves when Eddie’s van pulls away after dropping Dustin off, goes with Robin when she wants to see Corroded Coffin’s gig, makes polite conversation with Eddie when he arrives to set up for their campaign. He smiles like it doesn’t hurt more with every frenetic movement, every enthusiastic rant, every cackling laugh that’s not directed at him. Sometimes Eddie’s gaze meets his and he almost thinks there’s something there, something soft and affectionate swimming in those big brown eyes, but it’s gone when Steve blinks. Wishful thinking, he guesses.

It’s a Thursday night when Eddie shows up at Steve’s door out of the blue.

“Hey, man,” Steve greets him, still wearing his work clothes and holding the microwave burrito he was in the middle of scarfing down. “Did we have plans I forgot about?”

Eddie’s cheeks go pink. “No, no plans. I just…” He jams his hands into his pockets and hunches in on himself. “Sorry, I shouldn't have bothered you.”

“No!” Steve interrupts as Eddie turns to leave. “I mean, I’m glad you did.”

“Yeah?” Eddie looks almost hopeful, the way he glances up at Steve through his too-long bangs.

“Yeah. I missed having you around,” he confesses.

The smile he gets in response is blinding. “I missed being around.”

Still, Steve is completely caught off guard when Eddie steps closer and pulls him in for a kiss. He wants to melt into it, relax into Eddie’s hand at the back of his neck and let him lick into his mouth. But he doesn’t think he can do this anymore, pretending to keep things casual while he’s secretly yearning for more.

Reluctantly, Steve pushes Eddie away with a gentle hand on his chest. “Wait. I thought we agreed it was over.”

“We did,” Eddie nods. “We did, yeah, but maybe we should, um.” He licks his lips and Steve can’t look away. “Maybe it should… not be? Over?”

It’s thrilling and devastating all at once. “Ed, come on.”

“Why not? If we’re both into each other—”

“But I’m not just into you,” Steve confesses, quiet but emphatic. “I think— I really like you, Eddie. And I don’t expect you to feel the same, but I can’t keep doing this while I’m feeling this way.”

“Oh.” Eddie’s eyes are huge as they stare back at him. “Really?”

Steve almost wants to throw his burrito at him. Eddie shouldn’t sound so surprised that someone would care about him like this. “Yeah,” he shrugs helplessly, “really.”

“Really,” Eddie whispers to himself, awestruck. “Steve Harrington really likes me.”

Wait. Does Eddie…? There’s no reason for him to sound like that unless…

Eddie laughs loudly, and it’s one of the most beautiful things Steve has ever heard. Delightedly, he announces, “I really like you, too, dumbass!”

Their next kiss is clumsy, both of them smiling too much and overeager to touch again. Three weeks felt like an eternity of lost time, and they’re trying to make up for it as fast as they can.

Steve’s burrito ends up forgotten on the floor of the foyer alongside the heap of their shoes and outer layers.

[stealingyourbones]

What suggestions would you have for cool, lesser known DC characters I could write a crossover fic with.

Preferably not Gotham-based characters because as much as I love them I need a break and I want to try something new. I know you mentioned Animal Man in another post. Does he have a solo run I can look up or is he usually in group comics/a side character in somebody else’s comics?

(I am deliberately baiting you to info-dump to me about any DC characters you want and I will write a fic with them so go nuts.)

Sadly at this current moment I can’t infodump nearly as much as I’d want to because my carpal tunnel is being a lil bitch but I can give synopses:

Animal Man- Buddy Baker, a typical suburban dad who also happens to be a hero that can use abilities based on any nearby animal (including bacteria?). He is powered by The Red which is the animal version of The Green (Plant Life). The Red is less the concept of all animals but more the concept that all animals are meat. his comics are either a beautifully terrifying body horror gore fest or a 4th wall breaking mind bending creation. No in between. Having Animal Man fight the Lunch Lady and realize she’s fundamentally a different being and not of The Red would be crazy awesome.

Booster Gold or Ted Kord: Booster Gold is a Time Cop who got his job from stealing shit from the Hall of Justice Museum and heading to the Age of Heroes to fund enough money and fame to pay for his mothers cancer treatment. He could be used in Clockwork related fics a lot and he’s also equally as much as a dumbass as Danny.

Blue Beetle also known as Ted Kord, is basically in the same package deal as Booster. Ted Kord, Late owner of Kord Industries, ja a brilliant master of technology and has stuff from a massive beetle ship to a gun. He’s best friends with Booster and their bromance could be fun if you want Danny to have two partially functional adult mentors.

Wally West. The second and fastest flash. A he’s the most go with the flow dude I’ve seen in recent comics, including dealing with an inter dimensional WWE esque fight where he fights alongside Space Hulk Hogan, and has a wonderful Wife, Linda West, and (sometimes) twin kiddos. The Flash’s entire sthick is family. They’re more family centered than the Fast and Furious movies for god sake. Having Danny find a new home in any speedsters home would be incredible.

The Spectre: the embodiment of Gods Wrath. I would go on far too long of a rant remind me to do one later but for now all I’m saying is that it would be sick as fuck for The Spectre to kill Vlad for the horrible things he’s done.

Green Arrow or in general Star City: Oliver Queen, inheritor of Queen Industries is a dude who got trauma after a boat sank and some island thing (tbh I don’t know his backstory off the top of my head), but he’s a very quippy and hilarious guy who’s jokes would mesh pretty nicely with Danny’s humor and in general he’s underutilized in both dpxdc and DC so it’d be nice to see that change :)

Ok hands are getting angry but I hope that’s a fun starting example list for ya!! :D

[wynnyfryd]

Trailer park Steve AU part 48

part 1 | part 47 | ao3

cw: mentions of smoking/sexual activity

Chapter 11

February

For two and a half months, Steve’s life goes perfectly. He didn’t realize how far into a pit he’d fallen until Eddie showed up to help Robin and the kids lift him out, but the difference is jarring. Golden hour sunlight after catching a matinée.

Steve spends two months blinking.

He sloughs off his sadness like a snake shedding skin; spends the winter getting back to being Steve, restocks his favorite hair products and restarts his fitness routines — morning runs through the woods, afternoon pick-up games with Lucas and some of his teammates when the weather doesn’t suck. Weightlifting in the evenings because Eddie says he likes how Steve’s arms look when they get a little big, says it’s more fun to pin him down when he knows it’s just for show.

And he tries new things, too, just because Eddie likes them or because the kids think they're cool. He reads a Vonnegut novel. He eats Indian curry. He even learns a song on guitar.

...Sort of.

Eventually.

(Actually, that whole thing goes pretty horribly and takes for-fucking-ever. Eddie spends an afternoon patiently encouraging him and doing his best not to tease while Steve clumsily moves through a beginner chord progression, and then breaks down wheezing when, after the sixth attempt with no improvement, Steve puts the guitar down in a huff and threatens to demote his pinky finger from his hand if it doesn't start cooperating. Eddie laughs so hard he tips face-first into Steve's crotch, and it takes them a sticky-spitty-sweaty half hour to get back to the lesson.)

Anyway, he likes the way their lives entangle. As easy as weaving his hands through Eddie’s hair.

He gets invited to band practice; he sits in on D&D. Sometimes he watches sports with Wayne when he's got a day off, then he heads out with Eddie for long joyrides through the countryside.

Eddie blasts his metal music when they get out to the backroads, and he talks too loudly over the bass and laughs even louder and rants about nothing and smokes cigarettes while he headbangs to his favorite guitar solos — almost lights his hair on fire on more than one occasion, fucking dumbass — and he does this silly, lewd shit that makes Steve's chest just ache. Makes it clench around the word that's been burning a hole in his tongue since New Year's Eve. Eddie wags his brows and palms himself through his jeans and asks if Steve wants to take another joyride when they get home, and Steve thinks:

God, I love you.

I love you.

How could I not love you?

And really, how could he not? And how much longer can he keep not telling him so? When it feels like the word is going to burst out of his chest Alien-style any second.

When it feels like Eddie's the reason he even has a home to get to.

Slowly — so slowly, hours spent thrifting and bartering and keeping an eye out for free stuff left out on the curb, even more hours sanding and painting and caulking and sweating to death between trips to the hardware store — they redo Steve's whole trailer. Floor to ceiling, wall to wall, they exorcise the haunted tin can. They make it his; they make it theirs.

Eddie injects life into every inch of the space, fills it with weird art and funky lamps and a big, comfy leather couch that he likes to bend Steve over. Comes inside him in every room when they get done working on it as a reward; gasps in Steve's ear about how he always wants to be inside him: in his home, in his body, nestled deep inside his heart. "Keep me right here, baby," he breathes as he fucks Steve against a wall, his left hand gripping Steve's chest while he fills him from behind.

It’s perfect.

It's perfect.

Everything is beautiful and nothing hurts unless Steve asks.

And then, because this godforsaken town and everyone in it are fucking cursed, one day it isn’t anymore.

—

part 49

tag list in separate reblogs under '#trailer park steve au taglist' if you'd like to filter that content. if you want to be added please comment and let me know (must be over 21; please either verify in the comment or have your age visible on your blog)

[powerpuffobsession]

As much as I love Adam for a few fun parts of his character and for what he could have been at the hands of a competent writer (as shown by the fanfics where he gets properly developed)...

I feel like he (and the way he's characterised) is what broke Hazbin hotel season 1 pacing, Lucifer's character and the show's overall atmosphere.

(Long and packed rant under the cut, because I've been having these thoughts since I saw season 1, and I want to share them. Viewer discretion is adviced)

Before Adam existed (pilot era) it was all simple and worked more properly: a story about the hotel and its inhabitants, and most importanty, redemption. It was a small snuggly location with a few characters in the center of a plot

Heaven was in the background and kept as a mystery. Moreover, from what we've seen in the pilot, Lucifer was obviously a background villain or at least an anti hero, one of the real obstacles for Charlie to overcome on the way to her goal (instead of a minor inconveniece resolved in a single broadway song)

But when Adam and his weird obsession with murder broke into that perfectly cut out premise, everything just shattered. Too many themes got weaved into the short story of the 8 episodes: Heaven vs Hell politics, overlords, war, Charlie's conflict with Adam, the seraphims...

All of that pushed the hotel and the redemption to the background instead of Heaven.... in a cartoon that's named after the hotel. Because 8 episodes is not enough to talk about politics, a war and a 6 month redemption course (the latter even happened behind the screen with only some verbal hints given about the amazing secretive progress the hotel guests made that we were not allowed to see!)

(Had this cartoon stayed indie, there would have been a possibility of making more episodes and tackling more themes properly. But big name broadway actors are more important than that, it appears)

Back to Adam.

He is not even a good villain. He really should have been more of a background antihero. Give the man some sedatives, for f's sake! Where did all that rabidity even come from, after centuries of living in Heaven? Honestly, he'd be expected to act calmer and wiser than how he actually did, especially with how old he is (as old as the earth itself). But instead it's like he got frozen in a state of a dumb jock bully from high school

Imagine if Adam allowed Charlie and her hotel guests to prove that redemption is possible, out of principle, or curiosity. Hell, maybe even allow him to threaten to kill them, but not straight away! Later, after they fail to prove him wrong! If that's what Adam's role had been, the hotel part would have gotten time to breathe and more spotlight

All Adam did in the series, was:

1. make a lot of excessive noise

2. do dumbass things (and it wasn't even explained WHY he's the way he is, not even a single flashback or his own musings and thoughts shown, which makes all of his actions fall flat in every sense)

3. break the remains of logic (Heaven looks plain dumb because of him, not able to tell sinning from non sinning and to judge human souls properly. It's not even corruption, since Adam is not that important or benefitial to Heaven, an actual archangel like Michael could have been leading exorcists in his place and do a better job.... it's just stupidity)

And then Adam just died, for nothing and with no consequences.

I mean, straight after Adam's death Lucifer is immediately trying to divert the viewer's attention: "who wants pancakes? :D". It's like the cartoon itself doesn't care that the first human, one of the most mysterious beings in vivzieverse and someone who badly needed a second chance and therapy, just died. By a very stupid joke too (Niffty didn't even have to stab him).

In short, Adam's plotline is a huge waste of screen time...

And while his final smile to Lute may give us some hints that there's something good inside Adam, but it's more akin to mockery. Since we were never shown that there's more to Adam besides "the main character's opponent=ultimate bad"

And of course Lucifer was retconned into a pathetic uwu boi, who's depression and "silliness" have overshadowed the fact that he practically doomed humanity to a life full of pain, suffering and surviving and took away Adam and Eve's home. We don't even get the slightest glimpse of what exactly Lucifer DREAMED of that was so important to force him to do the humans dirty. Meaning it was something abstract and not thought-through anyway.

(Free will my ass.. Adam and Lilith did as they pleased in Eden without the free will, Adam ordering his wives around, Lilith being able to defy him and Eve being able to disobey God. What good did "free will" from that fruit even do them? If anything, it only did harm to everyone)

And so now this daft egotist is being portrayed as this selfless harmless character only for the sake of contrasting the painfully obvious bad evil that Adam is.

That comes off as black and white writing, fit more for a childrens cartoon, despite the show critisizing Adam for thinking in black and white terms. Not a good look

[seeingivy]

the mariners

spider!eren x f!reader

**part 2 to my spider-eren post

an: I call this...I hate my writing so much that I will just post whatever came out and say a prayer. also the fact that I ignored the poll and just picked one but u know whatever. no one ask me for part 3 bc I will write reader getting injured...

--

to spider-boy 

you: YOU KNOW WHAT’S STUPID?? 

eren: admin not approving your budget requests? the color scheme for prom? reiner? 

you: yes. to all of the above, but that wasn’t what i was going to say. my beef is with DOORDASH TODAY. 

eren: and what did doordash do this time? 

you: if the store closes IN THIRTY MINUTES, WHY CAN’T I ORDER FROM THE STORE????? 

eren: woe is you. but they need time to get there, sweetheart. 

you: you’re supposed to be on my side. 

eren: just go and get it urself lazy pants :D 

you: my stomach hurts. im on my period and i just wanted to order stupid ice cream to my apartment >:( 

eren: sorru swertheaft 

you: quit swinging and texting. just call me when ur home. 

Approximately twenty minutes later, you’re met with a very out of breath Spiderman and a tub of chocolate ice cream banging against your window. You pull apart the curtains and glare at him as Eren quietly sneaks in and plops down on to your red-and-yellow Harry Potter sheets. 

He’s never really come into your house properly, your dad being the police chief who wants his head on a stick and all, so he’s never really seen the extent of your…dorkiness. And he can tell right away, that you haven’t changed your bedroom from the little princess crowns and trophies you’ve been winning since fourth grade displayed on your dresser. 

You dig around in your closet for the hoodie and sweatpants you stole from Eren last time you were over at his apartment and place them on the bed for him with a pat. He’s peeling out of his suit, throwing on the clothes you left him as he reaches forward and presses a kiss to your cheek. You note the big bruise on his side, yellowing as he pulls the hoodie on. 

“You know, when I vent to you, I’m not really expecting you to go swinging around fixing my problems, Eren.” 

“I know that. But I can do that, why wouldn’t I?” 

You pinch the side of his cheek as the two of you pull into your sheets and resting your head against Eren’s shoulder as he digs his spoon into the ice cream. Eren braces himself as he asks the question. 

“How was your day?”

“Oh my fucking god, Eren. You would not believe it. I wear a white skirt to class and then of course I get my period. And then that dumbass Reiner on the student council starts telling me that he’s going to run against me for class president next year. As if he actually comes to any of the meetings, and then-” 

Eren loves this about you. That you get so worked up, so frustrated that the little veins in your forehead start bulging out. That you care so much about what the theme is for prom and that you lay out your outfits for class the day before and-

He leans forward as you keep ranting, silencing you by pressing a kiss to your lips. He can taste the chocolate hanging off your lips, positive that his lips taste the same on yours. Eren can feel you immediately feel relax under him by the way you snake your hand around his neck to pull him closer.

The second you yank him in, deepening the kiss as you hit the wall behind you, Eren slithers his hands around your legs and pulls you on top of him. He’s sure that the ice cream is melting on the side table and that he should stop because you’re on your period and because your parents and your brother are downstairs but you’re just pulling him in with your stupid flowery smell of yours and yanking him back every time he tries to pull away that he can’t. 

Eren starts kissing down the side of your neck, blood burning at how your body moves under his touch. He focuses on that one part of your neck - a few inches right below your ear - and sinks in, squeezing in on the same spot. 

“Eren.” 

“Shut up. Your little brother is downstairs. And your parents would-” 

Right on cue, you hear a knock at your door. You and Eren frantically pull apart with matching widened eyes as you dart around for a place to hide Eren. 

“Hi bug, can I come in?” 

You immediately pull Eren off of your sheets and he quickly crawls under your bed. Your dad walks right in as you wipe the wetness off of your neck, with him setting your dinner plate down and taking residence at your desk. He lifts up the papers on your desk - the fucking DNA samples that Eren gave you so you could figure out how he became Spiderman in the first place - and lifts them up to read. 

“Arachnoid Deoxyribonucle- this is so dense I can’t even understand it.” 

You quickly yank the papers out of your dad’s hands, shuffling them in your stack and placing them far, far away from where he was sitting. 

“Why are your lips so…swollen, bug?” 

You feel your cheeks burn as you bring your hand up to your mouth, feeling the puffy skin under your fingers. Because your stupid boyfriend was fucking pulling you onto his lap and sucking on your fucking lips. You cover up the side of your neck with the ends of your hair, positive that Eren’s lips left a sweet, pink spot on your neck that would purple up tomorrow. 

“L-lip plumpers.”

“Lip plumpers? Don’t tell me you’re doing all that for that Jaeger kid, because-”

Oh god. 

“No. I’m not, I just-” 

“Your mom said he was a sweet kid, like the stupid nerdy type. Like socially inept or whatever.” he murmurs. 

“He’s not socially inept, he’s just shy!” 

Your dads smirking at you now and you can feel your cheeks burning at what he says next. 

“Uh huh. Mrs. Eren Jaeger. I can’t believe you’re dating the same kid whose name you used to write all over your notebooks and diaries. And I get that you like the guy but you don’t have to change yourself just for some-” 

“I didn’t do it for him! And that was a long time ago and that wasn’t even true and-” 

“I’m teasing, bug. Just make sure you bring your plate back down. I feel like you haven’t been eating as much since you started planning the prom and working at Oscorp and all.” 

“Yeah, Dad. I’m really, really busy so if you could just leave that would-”

“Hey kid. I just wanted to see you. I know that you’re busy but would it kill you to-”

“No, no. I know that, I’m going to come to the vigil on Saturday, okay?” 

“Okay, bug. You better not be late.” 

“Promise, Dad. Love you.” 

You slam the door shut as he walks out, panting behind the door. You sit directly on your bed, ankle circling his fingers around your ankle and squeezing before he crawls out, his head placed directly on your lap. 

“Mrs. Eren-” 

“Shut up.” 

“It’s cute! You had a crush on me when you were-” 

“Eren. Drop it, please.” you whine. 

He climbs back into your bed, opening his arm for you to lie right against him. He’s rubbing small circles into your back, pulling open your laptop as he looks for a movie to watch. He pulls in, pressing a kiss to the top of your hair as he talks. 

“Sorry to leave you all hot and bothered, sweetheart.” 

“I’m on my period. There was no way you could have fixed that. And don’t act like I don’t see your friend through those sweatpants you’re wearing. You’re more hot and bothered than I am.” 

“Did you just call my dick your frie-” 

You clamp your hand around his mouth, cheeks burning as you lay against him. 

“Quit teasing me, Eren. I’m in pain.” 

He leans down, cupping your face with his left hand as he presses a soft, soft kiss to your already swollen lips. 

“Stop moaning and groaning you big baby.” 

He leans down, pressing soft kisses all over your face as he clicks the movie on, as you nestle into his arms. 

“What’s on Saturday, sweet?” 

“The vigil for the Monroe family. It’s on Twelfth Street, at the Mariners if you want to come with us. I know my parents would really like it if you came and-

“No. I’m busy.”

You feel your muscles clench at the decisiveness in Eren’s voice, your cheeks burning for even suggesting it. 

Why would Eren want to come with your parents to the vigil? He doesn’t even really know them that well and-

And Eren can feel the guilt itching in his throat at how dejected you look, your expression falling the second he denies you. And really - he hates to deny you. Eren reaches forward, tucking your hair behind your ear as he frowns. You reach for that little soft dent in his cheek, right where his dimples are, as you poke them twice. 

“That’s okay, Eren. I was just suggesting it.” you whisper. 

“The Mariners. They…thew a vigil for my parents when they died. I actually haven’t been back since.” 

You deflate, wrapping your hand around his neck as you lean into his touch, warm on your skin. You’re tracing little shapes into the skin on his biceps, his soft breaths filling the silence. 

“I’m sorry, Eren. I totally forgot about that, I-” you whisper. 

“How could you have known?” Eren murmurs. Back. 

“I was there. I should have remembered.” you respond back. 

Eren smiles in response, leaning his forehead against yours as he smiles. You absentmindedly reach for his dimples again, lightly smile at the little lines in the softness of his cheeks. 

“You wore two braids. The…the kind you like split in the middle.” 

“Pigtail braids.” 

“Pigtail braids. I remember, you only did them sometimes. Like when we had that holiday party in fourth grade…or Mikasa’s going away party. And you wore them to the vigil, with your shiny red shoes.” 

“I loved those shoes! I literally sobbed when I grew out of them and they didn’t make them in my size anymore.” you whine. 

“You gave me brownies, I think. We didn’t talk while we were there, but your family - you left them on the table.” he responds. 

“Yeah. I guess I was a little bit nervous to talk to you.” you murmur. 

Eren grins. 

“Because I’m so cute?” Eren asks. 

“Shut up. I did not-” 

“Yes, you did. Your dad just said.” 

“And what? I can’t like my boyfriend? Is that a crime?” 

Eren pulls you fully into his arms, burrowing his face into your neck, as you reach up and card your hands through the mess of his hair. It’s arranged every which way - no thanks to his mask - as you comb it back against his forehead and lightly rub your finger against the pink scar on his forehead. You pull back, reaching forward to press a kiss against the skin. 

“I’ll try to come, okay? I want to meet your family. And I should go back.” Eren murmurs. 

“Don’t push yourself. You’ll meet them when you’ll meet them. And you’ve already met Falco, technically, so-” you respond. 

“Just, promise you’ll be there? I’d hate to come all the way there just to not be graced with your presence.” 

You smile in response, as he pulls the blanket over the two of you and nestles into your arms.

--

It’s not that you hate going to the events. The vigils, the funerals, the lot of them. You’ve been to hundreds since you were a kid - an instance from your dad that you had to show out for the community, in the way that they were needed. That people were only held up by those around them and that you should always be the first one to reach. 

But there was something about it that just sat with you for too long. Watching the kids pass by, with the decorated pictures of their parents at the front, or a sibling standing alone in front of their own they just lost. At first it made your heart hurt - that it could easily be your parents on the picture and you standing in front of them. Or that your hand could easily go cold and never be filled with Falco’s warmth again. 

But this time around, it strikes you too deep. That this kid, it was once Eren. That he did stand there alone and was probably so reminded of it everytime someone invited him to the vigil that he couldn’t even stand to come back. 

“Hey kid.” 

You look over to your side to find Levi, the other volunteer you’ve seen frequent these events with you, beckoning for you to join him at the side walls where the two of you always seemed to stand. Not that you were anywhere near the same age, Levi was considerably older than you, but the two of you were always in agreement. That everyone else should make their move for condolences before the two of you did. The adults, the family - they were all primary to the strangers like you and Levi. 

“What did you bring?” you ask Levi. 

“Salad.” 

“Boo.” you respond. 

He elbows you in the side, as the two of you sport your soft smiles, as you watch everyone line up in the front. 

“What did you bring? Cupcakes?” he responds, jeering at you. 

“Brownies.” you murmur. 

Levi laughs, and you elbow him back, as the two of you watch the two kids stand at the front, and lower your heads. It’s right at that moment, in the break of silence, that there’s a large clanging noise directly to your left. 

You and Levi turn your heads in unison to find Eren standing at the front, now awkwardly picking the trash can up. You can see Pieck at his side, mouthing a quiet apology as every returns back to their conversations, and she reaches up to tousle his hair. 

“Be right back, Levi.” you murmur, as you quickly pace over to the front where the two of them are still standing. 

You make it over to them fast, with Pieck folding down Eren’s collar, as the two of them look over at you and smile. 

“Hi guys.” you whisper. 

Pieck smiles wide, giving Eren’s cheek one last pinch before she reaches forward and wraps her arms around you. 

“Hi sweet girl.” PIeck whispers. 

“Hi Pieck.” you respond, putting your hands on both of their arms as you talk. 

“Thanks for coming.” you murmur. 

You immediately blank, realizing very quickly what you said. You’d hate to make Eren feel more awkward, to make it more of a thing than it was. 

“I-I didn’t mean it like that! I just mean-” 

“I know what you meant. It’s okay.” Eren responds, smile so warm that you immediately deflate. 

“I’m going to go make my rounds. Come find me if you need something, Eren?” Pieck states.

He nods, as you reach down and lock your hand with his and give him a reassuring squeeze. He abesntmindedly leans his head against yours, as the two of you quietly whisper under your breaths. 

“Hi Spider-Boy.” 

“Hey.” 

“I’m glad you’re here.” you murmur. 

“I’m glad you’re here with me.” he responds. 

You smile, as you lead him back to where you were standing, at the side with Levi. Levi gives the two of you a polite nod, as you brace yourselves against the wall again. 

“Eleven people ate my salad. Two people ate your brownies.” Levi states. 

“Okay, Levi. I’m so glad you’re keeping count.” 

“Hi Levi.” Eren states, holding his hand out. 

“Eren.” 

You pause, giving the two of them a weird look. 

“He’s friends with Hange.” Eren says. 

You feign shock. 

“You have friends, Levi?” 

“Very funny.” Levi responds, glaring. 

The three of you stand there for sometime, as you nervously fidget with Eren’s hands in yours and watch each of them consecutively give their condolences. The line eventually dwindles down, as Levi leads the way for the three of you to enter the line last. 

“Do you always wait till the end?” Eren asks. 

“Yeah. Just makes me nervous, the entire thing.” you respond. 

“So you wait till the last second until you’re a big ball of anxiety?” he asks, eyes narrowed. 

“Exactly! You just get me, Eren.” you respond. 

The two of you walk down the line, as you both stand in front of the two of them, and crouch on your knees. And you’re in complete awe of the fact that Eren’s so quick to talk, when you had been hyping yourself up to talk for the two of you the entire time. 

“Hi guys. I’m Eren. This is Y/N.” 

The two of them don’t respond, sharing a blank look, as Eren reaches forward, noticing the little pens on their lapels. 

“You guys are Spiderman fans, huh? I have something really cool to show you.” 

Eren stands up, gesturing for the two of them to follow, as you instinctively reach for his elbow and give him a look. Except in response, he reaches forward and presses a kiss to your cheek before he shuffles away with the two kids at his side. 

--

Eren reappears after forty-five minutes, with the two kids in considerably greater spirits and a big smile on Eren’s face. He gives the two of them a wave goodbye, which they both respond to excitedly, before they run off and Eren snakes his hand around your waist. 

“Hi stranger.” he murmurs. 

“You disappeared for quite some time, Eren.” you respond. 

“Had to do a thing.” he responds, shrugging. 

“Uh huh. You better have not done what I think you did, Eren.” 

He smiles in response, reaching forward to press a kiss to your cheek. 

“Don’t worry your pretty head about it. I want to show you something.” 

Eren locks his hand with yours, as he drags you towards the back, and gives you a shining smile as you walk into the back halls of the little community center. It’s dark and dusty in the back as you feel your nose immediately tickling at the dust and Eren drags you straight to one wall in the center. It’s filled with small printed pictures, each of them glossy and shiny, as the two of you stand facing it. 

“When my parents died, there was this guy who came to our vigil. His name was Levi. And everyone at the vigil, they kind of look at you with these really shitty, pity eyes. They aren’t exactly all pretty girls in pigtails who make really good brownies, ya know?” he states. 

You smile, leaning your head on his shoulder, as the two of you look over all the pictures. 

“Levi, he was the last person to talk to me. He told me this thing, a secret, that only people without parents know.” 

“What’s that?” you ask. 

He reaches forward to flick your forehead. 

“Silly. It wouldn’t be a secret then.” 

“Okay, okay. Fair. Keep going, Eren.” 

“Anyways, they take this corny picture of you at the end. With your family or whatever. And mine is….all the way right there.” Eren says, pointing to the top. 

You look up at the picture of Eren, standing awkwardly in between Pieck and Hange with a pinched look on his face. Hange and Pieck have him tucked into his arms, which he’s easily resisting, and the picture makes your heart clench so hard, that you hug him full on. 

“Eren. You’re so…” you look over at him, frowning at his soft smile at your side. 

“You’re sweet. Thanks for inviting me. This was…nice.” 

You wrap your hands around his neck, bring your hands up to his cheeks to brush the softness of his skin. You reach forward to press a kiss to his nose, which has him curling his face in response. 

“Really. I like being here now. With you. I got to tell all those old ladies that I had a pretty girlfriend that made the brownies. Show off a little.” 

“You’re ridiculous.” 

He shakes his head, leaning forward to press a quick kiss to your lips, before you walk back towards the main room. 

“Now where’s your dad? I want to talk to him about Spider-Man.” 

“I’m going to slap you.” 

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll just gift him this.” 

Eren presses something hard into your hand before he shuffles off, right towards where your parents are standing. You look down in your hand to find the pin, the two the kids were wearing in your hand. You place it onto the collar of your shirt, before you stand up in join him, noticing that he has the other one pressed to his shirt as well. 

“It’s so nice to meet you. My name is Eren.” he states, extending his hand out, as you two lock your free ones together behind your backs. 

--

an: do not let me make this a series I swear to god

taglist: @k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06  @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha @rebeccawinters ​@itzmeme @cutiejg

[dumbass-duo-showdown]

DUMBASS DUO SHOWDOWN ROUND 3 BATTLE 1

MONKEY D LUFFY & RORONOA ZORO (aka zolu) VS SHAWN SPENCER & GUS

PROPAGANDA

ZOLU

I could rant about them for actual hours but like it's so hard to put thoughts down. But literally an actual quote was someone telling Zoro that "you promised you wouldn't cause trouble" and Zoro replies, EXACT WORDS, "I had no choice because I ran into Luffy." There was also an exchange where Zoro was giving Luffy food and Luffy warns him it might be poison while eating it and Zoro is just like "huh, so that's why my stomach was hurting". They also both swung from vines once and BOTH decided to Tarzan yell. They agreed it was a requirement. Also, Luffy once said he didn't wanna be a hero because heros would share their meat and he wants all of it, and Zoro entirely separately says the SAME THING BUT WITH BOOZE INSTEAD. There are so many examples of them sharing a single braincell. More than I could ever list. But those are the examples I thought of off the top of my head.

On the surface, Zoro seems to have some common sense, and only follows Luffy’s dumb schemes out of respect. Then Nami joins and you realize that Zoro’s seriousness IS his dumbassedness. He and Luffy have one track minds for their own goals and wants, and while they may clash, they have a decent amount of respect for each other.

haven’t finished one piece yet but one example: zoro when stuck figured cutting off his feet would be a genius idea and luffy is luffy. there’s never any thoughts going on in that head

When I first started One Piece I thought Zoro was going to be the badass smart counterpart to the dumbass protagonist just like Vegeta or Sasuke. Turns out I couldn't be more wrong. Him and Luffy are besties and share one brain cell and even thou Zoro uses it most of the time it's still one.

They share one single braincell at the same time: after being seriously injured in a battle, one wakes up to drink sake the other to eat meat. One almost cut a Noble (which means being pursued til death by the most powerful marines), the other actually punches said Noble. One gest stuck between buildings, the other inside a chimney for absolutely unrelated reasons

Their solution to everything is to fight it. They never have a plan and just rush into everything. Somehow they are technically the leaders of the group as captain and first mate. They have both at some point attempt to cut or tear their legs or arms off to get out something. They used the same metaphor to explain why they aren’t a hero without hearing the other say it (a hero would share their meat/booze I want to keep it all to myself).

they said let us cut/punch a hole trough a giant tsunami and they did it <3 also one time they were suppossed to lay low, but well they both immediately started robbing and attacking a town and being recognized and labeled as criminals in a new country. they don't even share a braincell, whatever braincell they had before immediately leave as soon as they both are together, also King of the Pirates and World Greatest Swordsman dreamteam, also for lasagne thing not only would the house be gone, the city be burning and they are fleeing the police while also fighting the police

They're just soooo stupid. Zoro can't walk to steps without getting lost. So Luffy will yank him miles through the air to land on wood. Or stone. Or some other hard substance. Luffy would fight someone on accident for meat. And Zoro for booze. And they have no brain cells between them. Zoro new Luffy for approx. 3 seconds before he decided he would die for him. And Luffy heard about this big scary bounty hunter who was captured by marines and went. I need him on my crew. They're perfect for each other.

I dont where to begin. One of their latest feats though is them going into the enemy base, Meaning to sneak in, Luffy went in after another guy, Zoro after Luffy, luffy then Announced himself, started a fight bc ppl wasted food on purpose, ZORO hearing a commotion, SLICED THROUGH A BUILDING TO GET TO LUFFY AND THEN REPRIMANDED LUFFY FOR FORGETTING THE PLAN AND BEING UNABLE TO BE QUIET. THEN. T H E N LUFFY SAYS HE SPILT FOOD ON PURPOSE AND ZORO IS INSTANT LIKE oh ok. They gotta die. (Theres more to it but thats the gist. And thats not even. Much. They r just so stupid together <33)

they both get lost very easily, they will throw hands with anyone, very stupid but very understanding, were a 2 person pirate crew that sailed around on a rowboat, motivated entirely by fighting, meat, and sake, neither is particularly literate one time luffy got his hand stuck in a bottle and zoro tried to get it out by cutting his hand off, yes this happened in a canon episode

look, I have a tag for them that's literally #pair of idiots.

Gus & Shawn

They’ve been friends canonically since at least 3 years old and at the start of the show they’re I wanna say 30 maybe? And yet these two grown men are THE most chaotic idiots (affectionate) in the whole show (and let’s be real anywhere). The entire show in fact hinges on the idea that they’re dumbasses and WILL get into carat shenanigans. Episode examples include the one where they are investigating an alien abduction, the one where they’re looking for big foot, the vampire one, all of these by the way they hundred percent believe to be true until they themselves unwillingly prove otherwise. And maybe the most dumbass moment of all time, when Gus finds his boss dead and instead of calling the cops he gets his dna ALL OVER THE CRIME SCENE, calls Shane to help clean up and Shawn gets HIS DNA ALL OVER THE CRIME SCENE AS WELL!!!! Truly cannot think of a worse reaction to finding a dead body. They’ve been sucking that single brain cell that exists between them dry for over 3 decades now and they show no signs of stopping.

they are such idiots (affectionate) and they can't live without each other

they are. so stupid. both of them can be smart in their own ways but when you put them together the dumb best friends energy is unmatched. they are platonic soulmates pretending that shawn has psychic powers and solve crimes by dicking around and somehow always coming out alive. they accidentally befriend the criminals they’re supposed to be investigating constantly. they’re always one step away from being fired or arrested bc of their dumbassery

the entire show is literally shawn pretending to be a psychic (← dumbass behavior) and gus aiding and abetting him and actively a dumbass as well

If you have seen even a single episode of this show, you know these two fools are the best duo ever. Constantly bantering theough 80s movie references and animal like noises, most often above a dead body, these two bring unique different dummy energy that both brings each other up and builds up their own skills along the way. I will love these two men until the day I die and they deserve an honest chance to be the best dumbass duo of all time!

[dorkycreature-89]

bumby x alice shippers be like:

listen, despite my hc that alice would be aromantic or have an aversion to romance, i've got nothing against ships with alice. ship her with pinocchio? go right on ahead (although, i know nothing of lies of p and all i can say is, the dude's hot. and if he has a nice voice, we might have to fight over him)

ship her with victor? yeah, sure (even though he should've been with emily. i HATE how bittersweet it is >:'/)

ship her with her disney counterpart? .....suuure? (would that be selfcest or am i just overthinking it?)

but you cannot, CANNOT tell me that shipping bumby with alice makes ANY sense

this man sexually harasses and eventually rapes her sister then burns the family home, which caused the whole events of alice's story in the first place, tries to make her forget everything that happened when she's "sane" and hides the fact he sexually traffics children. and he doesn't even back down from it. no, the mf LAUGHS right in alice's face about it. yeah, being shoved in front of a train was warranted

idk, that doesn't seem to scream "THESE TWO ARE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER"

look, if you think angus bumby is an interesting character, then i'm not gonna stop you for that. i start giving angus enjoyers the side eye when they start victim blaming alice for killing him

and once you start shipping them, my head's doing a whole 180

kinda shows how y'all really feel about victims of abuse

but sorry for thinking that shipping an abuser and his victim is fucked up, i guess 😐

[wanderingswampbeast]

Long Post: Why I Don’t Like The Drow

I’ve been ranting about this to a friend on discord (a lot of points I make will come from him) but I’ve finally figured out what my issue with the drow is outside of inherently evil groups being dumb.

The drow are boring. Drow lore is less of a dive into a unique culture and more of a list of fucked up things they do. Like, I cannot name a single interesting aspect of typical drow society that does not directly involve murder, sexism, or slavery, or Lolth. And even then, most of those things are written about in an incredibly bland fashion with them.

The Drow don’t really have much depth to them, and are just kind of evil for evil’s sake (or “because Lolth said so”). They do slavery, but the only real purpose of doing slavery for them is “because Lolth said so”. It isn’t for cheap labor, it’s to be more evil. They betray each other purely because that’s what evil people do. They’re misandrist, not for any real societal reason, but because Lolth hates men. There’s none of what would make slavery an interesting topic or story element, no justification for why they should be allowed to commit one of the worst injustices possible, no real economic reason for it. They just do it because Lolth says they should, and from a writing perspective it hammers home the fact that they’re evil. They aren’t evil because they enslave and murder, they enslave and murder because they’re evil, if that makes any sense.

Them being written as comically evil as they are also hurts them from a worldbuilding perspective. They’re so reliant on slaves for menial labor that the lower class of their society struggle to get jobs. Drow culture so obsessed with betrayal and dumbass house wars that even when actively under attack from the outside they sabotage each other. They’re so decadent that their buildings are held up with magic and semi regularly collapse when a spell fails. To put it bluntly, drow society feels like one that should have collapsed in a few centuries, which, funnily enough, is way longer than D&D elves live.

Their culture being so monolithic also makes writing anything about them difficult. Every drow antagonist is going to have near identical motivations, methods, and ideologies as every other drow antagonist. Every drow protagonist is going to ultimately feel very similar to Drizzt, because leaving their fucked up society to become a do-gooder is such a common backstory element that they added a whole extra god just for doing that. In fact, you can divide 90% of drow characters from any official materials into these categories:

Manservant

Ambitious male, usually a wizard (5 bucks says he has long hair and a widow’s peak)

Dommy Mommy Warcrime Woman

Drizzt Do’Urden or one of his many duplicates

Self-loathing and/or resentful Drider

And finally, their existence almost purely to be humanoid enemies you can fight at nearly any levels is just kind of lazy. This is a problem that I have with the “evil races” of a lot of fantasy but having a group that’s evil by birth just feels like an excuse to not have to write actual motivations for your antagonists. It’s the difference between “go attack this camp of soldiers because they’re part of the SkullMurder army and their general wants to use our land to build a dread fortress” vs “go attack this camp of soldiers specifically because they’re drow/goblins/orcs/the dreaded peepee-poopoo folk”. Using stuff like this just feels like an excuse to not have to write an actual antagonist since it comes pre-written in the group’s lore. This has the side effect of whenever such a group is the antagonist of the plot, the players or audience know near exactly what to expect. The orc is here to conquer, the goblin is here to steal, and the drow is here to enslave or do some dark ritual.

I’ve legitimately heard people say “well if XYZ can’t be inherently evil anymore, who will we use as bad guys?” It’s very simple: whoever the fuck we want. Write an evil queen, or a scheming wizard, or an underground slave trade network. For God’s sake, anyone can be evil, you don’t need to tie that to a specific ethnic group and write it as “they’re just like that”. Write an actual character for your antagonist.

[tommyssupercoolblog]

Hey as a disabled person you're "disability is miserable all the time and disabled lives aren't worth living and every day is a nightmare" narrative is still ableist, still harmful, and still disgusting even if you are also a disabled person!!! If I see you in the disability tags ranting about how you hate people talking about disabilities as if they aren't the worst possible thing to ever happen to a person because YOU hate yourself I'm going to lose my shit!!!! You have internalized ableism :D and need to work through that :D !!! And I don't want to see you preaching about how I'm either faking or delusional because I should be depressed and self-hating and miserable every goddamn day like you are!!!!

This is what gets disabled people killed!!! This is what gets people literally murdered by doctors because the doctor decided that life with an intellectual disability or in a wheelchair or whatever isn't worth living and they should just die!!! This is something disability rights advocates are continually fighting against!!! Yes being disabled is challenging but you can love it anyway, you can love yourself anyway, and love your LIFE anyway, and a life with challenges or struggles isn't inherently worse because your worth and the worth of your life is not tied to what you can and cannot do!!!!! Being autistic DOES block off a lot of things but that doesn't mean my life is horrible and endless suffering because guess what?? I can find happiness and fulfillment in things that ARE available to me, and I also don't have to mope about what I can't do because not being able to do things isn't a curse or something that deteriorates my worth!!!!

You don't speak for other disabled people when you whine and complain about how people shouldn't be posting positively about disabilities!!!! And in fact!!!! Seeing your posts makes me angry and hurt and upset!!!!!

Being in chronic pain is painful and pain sucks, but that doesn't mean you can't still love yourself and who you are INCLUDING that. Having ADHD and struggling to eat can suck but that doesn't mean you can't see it as a part of you and still love yourself even though it makes things hard.

"I would give anything not to be disabled" cool well even when I am crying and throwing up and having panic attacks, I wouldn't change being disabled. Because yeah it has downsides, that's why it's a disability. But it's still a part of me. It's still a part of who I am, and it's still an experience worth having and a life worth living, and I don't want to change it. It's mine. I am not a goddamn tragedy, I am a person, and I resent being treated like my pain makes me some sob story. if you would be abled at the press of a button then good for you, but don't go preaching from the rooftops about how all disabled people feel that way and it means you can't make positivity posts for disorders or disabilities or make quirky memes about it. Your problem is not my fucking problem.

"stop making this disorder quirky and cute" I can do whatever I want with my own fucking conditions thank you very much, and so can other people with theirs. As long as no one is being ableist or using definitions wrong (ex; that dumbass delulu trend) then they should be allowed to make relatable jokes about being a cane user or being mute or having schizophrenia, don't tell other disabled people how to talk about and think about their own disabilities. Like, I like being a system. I like having AuADHD, I like making silly jokes about how I can't eat anywhere because of how nightshades react to our autoimmune disorder, I like how our dogs lick our legs all the time because they can smell when it's acing up, I like calling gluten and wheat "poison" jokingly. Don't tell me to hate it because you hate it, just leave me the fuck alone.

[tinyidle]

nice try - cmy x ysh

warning: smut ofc, floor sex (? sounds uncomfortable ngel) some bdsm with emphases on d and s, consensual force (light and moderate manhandling, light choking, slapping, etc), facesitting, semi-faileddom!miyeon, sub!miyeon, overwhelmed miyeon, failedsub!shuhua, harddom!shuhua, reference to g!p, a bit mean ngl, fiction ofc, not really proofread but if you read my stuff you should know that by now

a/n: warning: cursing because im ranting-

fucking tumblr somehow deleted the ask i was looking for to start the series, then i couldnt get into my holo acc to make sure my draft wouldn't be lost. stupid piece of dumbass motherfucking piece of tech dipshit- anywho... enjoy this nice little drabble i created :)

"unnie, what are you- woah!"

shuhua was immediately tackled to the ground. before she could understand her surroundings and what was going on, miyeon had already put a hand on her shoulder, putting a finger in front of her lips in a shush manner.

it was completely dark around them and shuhua couldn't see a thing-- not even miyeon's face or chest in the light from the cracked door of the nearby bedroom. she invites her eldest member to her house, expecting to chill, and this is what she does? why is so rowdy al of a sudden?

while shuhua was trying to take the reigns of whatever was going on, miyeon somehow shifted her way from the maknae's stomach (where she pinned shuhua from under her legs) to just above her lips. she lowered herself just slightly down before lightly grinding on the maknae's face.

ohhh shuhua realized. "you want to take control this time, myeonnie?" she asked with a slight smirk on her face, using her hands to grip the older's hips.

doing her best to be in control while answering the younger's question, miyeon grabbed a hold of shuhua's hands and pinned them down before nodding at her. she carefully stood up, doing her best to avoid shuhua's splayed out raven-colored hair on the ground. "stay there," miyeon ordered as she took off her shorts and panties to gently fold them and lay them next to the dresser.

"yes, ma'am," shuhua replied like a mock soldier, doing a mini salute as miyeon was in the middle of undressing and folding. the older giggled before leaning down to give the younger a kiss. once she pulled away from shuhua, miyeon carefully got back down to the maknae's flushed face, all vulnerable and ready for her. gathering her hair in one so that she could rest her knees on each side of her ears, miyeon knelt all the way down until she felt her lower lips connect with shuhua's upper lips.

it felt very intimate, yet the aura was meant to be sensual as miyeon slowly grinded on shuhua's mouth. when miyeon wasn't getting lost at the feel of the younger's face, she'd order shuhua to 'open your mouth and stick your tongue' flat, coupled with some 'make sure your nose touches my clit' and 'stay still while i bounce on you'.

"ahh, yes, that feels so good," the older exclaimed, throwing her head back while she moved her hips to the invisible rhythm of sex in her mind. shuhua, being ordered not to touch herself, was getting rather frustrated. sure, she loved feeling her girlfriend's juices on her tongue and loved the sounds she was making, but she was getting tired of not being able to move or touch or order anything or anyone around.

something had to give.

raising her arms a little to shake off the 'lazy-numb' feeling, she held miyeon's hips and forced it onto her mouth; as she was previously teasing her for the upteenth time. "my turn," shuhua mumbled into miyeon's puffy cunt, with the older now squealing and attempting to get shuhua to behave for her.

her attempts were reigning futile. "shuhw- aaah, please don't stop. right there-" she went from demanding to pleading, just as shuhua got miyeon to turn around and sit on her face with her ass to her this time. pulling off of miyeon's cunt, shuhua smacked her ass. "ow!" miyeon exclaimed, going to rub her sore bottom before shuhua smacked her center right after, making miyeon moan in the pleasurable pain.

shuhua smirked before raising her hand up to the back of miyeon's neck, lightly putting pressure on it. she lifted her self up while miyeon's lap shifted down onto shuhua's. "you've been bad for teasing me, myeonnie. how are you going to make it up to me?"

miyeon whimpered before gasping as shuhua's other hand gripped her clothed breast, squeezing it firmly. "ill-- suck daddy off to make her happy."

shuhua simply smiled. "good." she roughly let go of miyeon altogether, allowing the older to scramble to get the younger's lower undergarments off. "and don't do any funny business, either."

[euijoosorangeslice]

Can I request teacher k and spanking please? Thank you!!1

A+

warnings: teacher-student relationship, cheating, slight non-con (power difference), age gap (reader is a uni student and k is well…a teacher. At most 7 year age gap), fingering, oral {fem recieving}, harddom!k, exbhitionism; creampie, spanking.

Your first year of college was coming to a close. You had mostly all A’s, except for in one class. In Mr. Koga’s class, you had mostly slept for the entire year. Who wants to be awake at 8am on a Monday after getting blackout drunk the night before?

But you landed yourself a D in his class. Barely, since you were only three points away from failing that class. The final exam was worth half your grade anyway, so if you could just ace it then you’d be in the clear! As soon as the test was placed in front of you, your heart dropped. Shit. You had no idea how to do anything on this paper. Okay, what the hell is a hypotenuse?

You just bubbled random answers and sat there until the testing time was up. Let’s just hope your instincts were amazing. As your teacher started instructing on what courses you’d need to take next for which credits, you found it easy to get lost in his eyes. Was it wrong to want to kiss your teacher? His lips looked pretty nice today, maybe it wouldn’t be too bad dating an older guy.

You shook the thoughts from your head when the Mr.Koga stared passing back exams. He tapped a finger on your desk, your imagination running wild with the veiny orientation of his hand. "You need to see me after class." Mr. Koga whispered, sliding your exam onto your desk. You picked up the test, and low and behold, you got a 45%. Fuck, couldn't atleast get a fifty? Now you were definitely failing his class. He finished passing out tests, going on some dumb rant about how many people passed over the failed amount, which was practically everyone but you.

Maybe you were just a dumbass. Anyway, your professor dismissed the class and you walked over to his desk, swaying your hips as your tiny little skirt hugged your ass. "Y/n, I'm quite concerned with your scores on your test." He looked up, seeing your cute boobs being pushed up by your tight little shirt. "I've never had anyone do this bad on my exams. Is everything okay at home?" He leaned back in his chair, watching as you bit on the back of your black pen.

You pouted, placing a hand on his desk. "I don't know, Mr. Koga. I think I've been having a hard time focusing. This class is fucking boring." His eyebrows furrowed roughly, scoffing. "I'm sorry? Do you think my class is a joke?" You leaned over his desk, giggling in his face. "Mr. Koga, I barely even know what class this is."

"I don't appreciate your attitude, sweetie. You need to act right or I'm gonna have to punish you." You squeezed your thighs together at his harsh tone. Fuck, that's definitely a turn on. "Oh yeah? What are you gonna do? Suspend me?" You teased, Kei sucking his teeth. "I could do that. Or I could give you another option," Kei stood up, placing himself inches away from your face.

"You could fuck me for an A. I know you've been thinking of me like that. So I could report you, or I could fuck you. Bend you over my desk and make you a good girl just for me, hm? Is that what you want?" You could've sworn you were dreaming. You hopped over his desk, bending over into his lap. "Oh, Mr. Koga. I think I need some help making a decision."

Wasting no time, he pulled you by your hair and grabbed your waist. "Let's take these dumb panties off." He grumbled, your chest pressed against the cold wood table as he lifted your skirt. "I'm starting to think you're really a slut. Wearing a lacy thong to school? You just want me inside of you." He pulled the underwear down, looking at your wet folds. "Aw, you really want me bad. Dripping all over my floor." He slapped your ass, watching you slightly jump. "Fuck! Mister Koga." You whined, arching your back into his touch. "Call me sir."

He slid two of his fingers into your hole, caressing your ass as he slowly slid them in. Randomly spanking you as he fingered your hole. "Yes, sir!" He chuckled, unbuckling his slacks. "Where'd that attitude go baby? I thought you wanted to be a brat." He teased, roughly spanking your ass. "I'll be a good girl, promise!" He gripped your thighs, kneeling down to be facing your wetness. He buried his face into your ass, taking a long, deep breath in. "Fuck, such a pretty little girl." He spat, tonguing your clit as he put his fingers deeper inside of you. You squirmed, Kei holding you in place.

"Sir, i-it feels so good! Please, need you in me." You moaned, gripping the desk as you felt the sensation of your boobs rubbing against the wood. He pulled away from your dripping wet pussy, dropping his slacks to the floor. He picked you up, placing you onto your back. He started chuckling to himself. "Damn. I forgot to lock the door. Anyone could just walk in and see you slutting out for your teacher." He palmed his cock, grabbing it from his boxers and slowly shoving it into you without warning.

"Wait, S-sir 'm a virgin!" You squeaked in pain, Kei quickly pulling out. "Really? Shit, I'm sorry, angel. Here, I think I have lube in my bag." Kei squirted some of the cold gel onto his fingers rubbing it over his dick. "Alright, I think that's enough." He mumbled, massaging your thighs. "I'm going in now, okay?" You nodded rapidly, feeling his tip push past your entrance. "Sorry for the stretch." He whispered into your ear, holding your hip as he pushed further in. "F-fuck!" You moaned, feeling like Kei was inside of your womb. "I'm all in. You want me to keep going?"

"Yes, sir. Think I'm ready." You whispered, Kei slightly pulling out and pushing back in. He picked up his pace, lifting your leg over his shoulder. "Fuck, your pussy feels so good. Tight little girl, hm?" Your boobs bounced against your chest as he moved, your eyes rolling back. "Mm, Sir! Feels so good." You moaned loudly, Kei smirking. "Yeah? Damn, you're definitely getting an A for this. Never felt a cunt like this before baby." He spoke, accenting his words with a few hard thrusts. His hand slid down to your clit, vigorously rubbing it as he drilled his cock inside of you.

Feeling your orgasm approach, your legs began to close, but Kei forced them back open. "Don't be shy, angel. I know I'm making you feel good. Just go ahead and cum for me." Your legs crossed behind his back, forcing him to stay inside of you. "You want me to cum inside of your pretty little hole? Tryna get knocked up by your teacher, aren't you?" He sped up, chasing his own orgasm. "Yes! Fuck, please cum inside of me sir." You begged, Kei groaning in pleasure. As you reached your orgasm, you clenched around him, making him cum inside of you.

"Shit. Fuck, I-I'm going to be in so much trouble of you get knocked up." Kei mumbled, his brain starting to reason with himself. You giggled, slowly sitting up onto his desk. "I think you should be more concerned about cheating on your wife, Mr. Koga." He rolled his eyes, massaging your thighs. "Well, we need a divorce anyway." You smiled, placing a kiss on his cheek. "If you want to get remarried, I think I know a good candidate. She might be having your baby."